Advertising just ain't what it used to be...

Go On Johnny!

I have of late been reading an interesting book I happily and accidentally chanced upon in the History wing of the University liberry - an account of a load of Irish settlers to the Cape Province in 1820. Seeking a new life and a fresh start, fleeing Protestant rule and worsening spud yields back home, a whole load of Oirish lads and families made their way Southalong aboard the HM "Fanny" bound for Cape Town. The book is mainly a dry enough account of the death, misfortune and hardship endured by these poor souls who were landed with an awful barren spot of farmland near a parish called Clanwilliam, believe it or not. The misery is interjected from time to time however with amusing anecdotes from a young stowaway scut by the name of John Montgomery. Excerpts of his musings were published decades later in a few South African newspapers such as the Free State Gazette - the readers of which would no doubt have been more horrified than amused by the memoirs of the rogueish Jackeen.
And we wonder why we're all tarred with the same brush, 200 years later? Go on Johnny!

Guy Fawkes

Each year, New Zealand government make it legal to buy and sell fireworks for three days (November 3rd - 5th) in anticipation of Guy Fawkes night. This year I'm joining the fun and bought $80 worth of some cracking fireworks. Results to follow......

Three Tragic Tales from the Tropics

There are harsh lessons to be learned out here in the Heart of Darkness. One must be on the top of his game just to survive. A chap unscathed is a fellow unlived, though.

Lesson Learned #1:
Don't drink and shoot things. It leaves a scar.




Lesson learned #2:
Don't run a marathon around and atop Table Mountain. It'll leave infected blisters. And a scar.





Lesson learned #3:
Don't shove your foot into bicycle spokes while barefoot. It'll snap your toe in three. And will leave a scar.








More maulings to come in the coming months, to be sure. Summer's on it's way.

Carrefour Discount Coulommiers

I had no idea what I was going to say if questioned as to why I was taking a picture of arguably the worst cheese in Carrefour. However, some strategic loitering about in the isle for 10 minutes allowed me to choose my moment well, without prying French eyes. As far as I can see they don't advertise this product. Anywhere. But, it is in the cheese isle. And it clocks in at €4.26/kg.

Arthur won't be happy

What more can I say.....other than that we disobeyed the sign and now Tauranga is out of Guinness.

Leaky Lámh

In response to POC's self mutilation post I've decided to share my leaky lámh as a result of an 'over-grippy' mountain bike handle. I was tempted to post the corresponding saddle related blisters but I thought it may be too offensive for this mild-mannered blog.

د خیبر درہ

Every time I pass this aptly named passage in Stromness it gives me a chuckle. Dare I say it is nearly as treacherous to navigate as its namesake after a few of the local Orcadian brews. The Islander's opium.

A suspicious tale

PS this morning as I was driving to the shops (we've no work today - "Youth Day" - in memory of the Soweto Riots when the cops opened fire on and killed a load of schoolchildren for not wanting to finish their Afrikaans homework) I spotted two extremely dodgy looking lads hanging around the nicer University buildings and residences. And believe me it's not uncommon to see a rough fellow or two loitering about in this country, but these lads took the biscuit. Sketchy-eyed and gawping over hedges, hands in pockets - the elder had on a Blacky Connors leather jacket and a turtle-neck, the younger a white tracky-pants and bomber jacket. Both sported skintight TimJoe start-of-summer haircuts, with complexions not unlike the same fellow's after a summer on the Dawn Treader.
"Hello!" I thought, "how utterly quaint. There's something not quite right here. I wonder did I remember to lock the back door?". Regardless, Betty Bakkie and I bounced along to town to fetch the messages. Two right-turns later we happened upon three more undesireables kicking and shouldering each other and scutting all-round in the street - this time tall, gangly, high cheekboned with red noses in the winter nip.
"What commotion!" I declared under my breath to my 1.6L confidante "you'd swear we were in Casablanca central station ready to hop aboard the 3rd class carraige to Tripoli what with this clutter of uncouth youths hanging about!". Needless to say, my nerves were just about shot.
Then, of course, it dawned on me.
I had just siddled past the Algerian football team killing time in scenic Stellenbosch before facing the Brits Friday night in Cape Town. Phew!
The knickers on my clothes line were safe, for another day.

Nutritional advice

Sterling advice from the South African Council for Petrol Station Pie Counter Product Nutrition (SACPSPCPN).

Mutilation 2010 to date

More to come in coming months, to be sure.

Mozzie Morgue

Nice Deal

Was just making a sandwich and remembered your bargain find. I know it might not be Kerrygold standard but at the current exchange rate it clocks in at R53.69/kg. Now that's ASDA price. Ching Ching! Now can you give me an excuse as to why I was taking a photo of a block of cheese. My French flatmate, although he loves his cheese, can't understand why someone would want to photograph a half eaten block of ASDA Mild Coloured Cheddar....and I clearly couldn't explain it either.

Zapiro and Zuma's Showerhead

Controversial, much loved political cartoonist, Zapiro. A lot of African topics but occasionally mixes it up with global events. Very enjoyable if you keep up with your affairs. Can't understand how Zuma's henchmen haven't tracked him down yet...
http://www.mg.co.za/zapiro/all

Big feller

These here cockroaches in this country can be intimidatingly big (this chap was over 10cm once I stretched his wee legs and horns), but seem a little more graceful, if that's the word than those I've seen in Europe and the Americas. For instance they don't instantly and guiltily scatter as soon as you turn on the light, but would rather hand around a while and stand their ground if necessary. They also seem solitary, which makes them appear less, well, grubby.