Daily Musings from Afar

Demonchild

2011-09-25T20:48:00.002+02:00

Terrifying oversized monsterbaby in a pram. From the official Rules of the Road book for learner drivers.

Tóg mo shrón

2011-07-14T19:14:00.004+02:00

Further to my earlier rant (March 17th 2009) about the disgrace of flying the Irish tricolour the wrong way round, see below for a truly unbelievable display of ignorance and insult.

Paddy's Irish Pub in the very popular tourist town of Knysna, South Africa, quite incredulously drapes the Cote d'Ivoire ensign over the front of its premises.

Furthermore, if you plan on putting perhaps the most well known Irish greeting (Céad míle fáilte) on the front window you might as well make an effort to get at least ONE of the three words right. Is that too much to ask? And to top it all, two of the three fadas are in the wrong places. But wait, there's more! Those aren't fadas at all but some sort of Francophonic Grave Accent.
Un feckin believable.

Election Season - always terrifying

2011-07-14T19:05:00.003+02:00

Candidate mugshots tied to my front gate. Not a welcoming sight to any visitors.

NPP: Enough is Enough. Quite right.

Can you feel it? It's here!

2011-06-24T17:46:00.004+02:00

Dust off those vuvuzuelas!

It took me about one minute of head scratching and double-takes before finally realising what the hell the issue was here. Found in a 40ft container that served as a village supermarket somewhere in the middle of rural Mozambique. Whadda gem!

(PS a free can of Castle Lager to anyone who can actually identify all teams and players, if indeed they do exist...)

Popular Music On A Night Out

2011-04-29T02:04:00.001+02:00

A question for all:

What do you dance to on a night out?

The Hazards of the Car Wash

2011-03-27T21:58:00.002+02:00

Nothing more distressing than looking at a wet fella.

Job creation initiatives, RSA

2011-01-23T20:12:00.002+02:00

An improvised door latch in an otherwise clean, professional and unremarkable petrol station in the (former homeland of the) Transkei, SA. One can count 3 different thicknesses of wire and one cable tie in the mix, suggesting the lock has been repaired on at least 4 different occasions.
This is perhaps the most obvious and financially sound solution (if not the prettiest) in a country where a new shooting bolt and six woodscrews costs about the same as a casual labourer/generic petrol pump worker's daily wage.
And it creates work for an otherwise unemployed lad for half a day or so - something buying a new lock would not achieve.
Job creation ideas from the third world - Ireland, take note!

Top Shelf Bibles

2011-01-10T15:16:00.002+02:00

South Africa's largest chain of "Christian Family Bookstores" was not what I was expecting when I slunk inside.

Advertising just ain't what it used to be...

2010-12-29T19:37:00.003+02:00

Go On Johnny!

2010-12-09T11:56:00.005+02:00

I have of late been reading an interesting book I happily and accidentally chanced upon in the History wing of the University liberry - an account of a load of Irish settlers to the Cape Province in 1820. Seeking a new life and a fresh start, fleeing Protestant rule and worsening spud yields back home, a whole load of Oirish lads and families made their way Southalong aboard the HM "Fanny" bound for Cape Town. The book is mainly a dry enough account of the death, misfortune and hardship endured by these poor souls who were landed with an awful barren spot of farmland near a parish called Clanwilliam, believe it or not. The misery is interjected from time to time however with amusing anecdotes from a young stowaway scut by the name of John Montgomery. Excerpts of his musings were published decades later in a few South African newspapers such as the Free State Gazette - the readers of which would no doubt have been more horrified than amused by the memoirs of the rogueish Jackeen.
And we wonder why we're all tarred with the same brush, 200 years later? Go on Johnny!

Guy Fawkes

2010-11-05T07:40:00.002+02:00

Each year, New Zealand government make it legal to buy and sell fireworks for three days (November 3rd - 5th) in anticipation of Guy Fawkes night. This year I'm joining the fun and bought $80 worth of some cracking fireworks. Results to follow......

Three Tragic Tales from the Tropics

2010-10-28T22:24:00.007+02:00

There are harsh lessons to be learned out here in the Heart of Darkness. One must be on the top of his game just to survive. A chap unscathed is a fellow unlived, though.

Lesson Learned #1:
Don't drink and shoot things. It leaves a scar.

Lesson learned #2:
Don't run a marathon around and atop Table Mountain. It'll leave infected blisters. And a scar.

Lesson learned #3:
Don't shove your foot into bicycle spokes while barefoot. It'll snap your toe in three. And will leave a scar.

More maulings to come in the coming months, to be sure. Summer's on it's way.

Carrefour Discount Coulommiers

2010-10-14T12:48:00.004+02:00

I had no idea what I was going to say if questioned as to why I was taking a picture of arguably the worst cheese in Carrefour. However, some strategic loitering about in the isle for 10 minutes allowed me to choose my moment well, without prying French eyes. As far as I can see they don't advertise this product. Anywhere. But, it is in the cheese isle. And it clocks in at €4.26/kg.

Arthur won't be happy

2010-09-27T03:30:00.003+02:00

What more can I say.....other than that we disobeyed the sign and now Tauranga is out of Guinness.

Leaky Lámh

2010-09-26T12:56:00.003+02:00

In response to POC's self mutilation post I've decided to share my leaky lámh as a result of an 'over-grippy' mountain bike handle. I was tempted to post the corresponding saddle related blisters but I thought it may be too offensive for this mild-mannered blog.

د خیبر درہ

2010-06-17T21:40:00.002+02:00

Every time I pass this aptly named passage in Stromness it gives me a chuckle. Dare I say it is nearly as treacherous to navigate as its namesake after a few of the local Orcadian brews. The Islander's opium.

A suspicious tale

2010-06-16T18:08:00.001+02:00

PS this morning as I was driving to the shops (we've no work today - "Youth Day" - in memory of the Soweto Riots when the cops opened fire on and killed a load of schoolchildren for not wanting to finish their Afrikaans homework) I spotted two extremely dodgy looking lads hanging around the nicer University buildings and residences. And believe me it's not uncommon to see a rough fellow or two loitering about in this country, but these lads took the biscuit. Sketchy-eyed and gawping over hedges, hands in pockets - the elder had on a Blacky Connors leather jacket and a turtle-neck, the younger a white tracky-pants and bomber jacket. Both sported skintight TimJoe start-of-summer haircuts, with complexions not unlike the same fellow's after a summer on the Dawn Treader.
"Hello!" I thought, "how utterly quaint. There's something not quite right here. I wonder did I remember to lock the back door?". Regardless, Betty Bakkie and I bounced along to town to fetch the messages. Two right-turns later we happened upon three more undesireables kicking and shouldering each other and scutting all-round in the street - this time tall, gangly, high cheekboned with red noses in the winter nip.
"What commotion!" I declared under my breath to my 1.6L confidante "you'd swear we were in Casablanca central station ready to hop aboard the 3rd class carraige to Tripoli what with this clutter of uncouth youths hanging about!". Needless to say, my nerves were just about shot.
Then, of course, it dawned on me.
I had just siddled past the Algerian football team killing time in scenic Stellenbosch before facing the Brits Friday night in Cape Town. Phew!
The knickers on my clothes line were safe, for another day.

Nutritional advice

2010-04-27T00:22:00.002+02:00

Sterling advice from the South African Council for Petrol Station Pie Counter Product Nutrition (SACPSPCPN).

Mutilation 2010 to date

2010-04-27T00:10:00.003+02:00

More to come in coming months, to be sure.

Mozzie Morgue

2010-03-21T21:44:00.001+02:00

Nice Deal

2010-03-08T15:03:00.003+02:00

Was just making a sandwich and remembered your bargain find. I know it might not be Kerrygold standard but at the current exchange rate it clocks in at R53.69/kg. Now that's ASDA price. Ching Ching! Now can you give me an excuse as to why I was taking a photo of a block of cheese. My French flatmate, although he loves his cheese, can't understand why someone would want to photograph a half eaten block of ASDA Mild Coloured Cheddar....and I clearly couldn't explain it either.

Zapiro and Zuma's Showerhead

2010-03-08T00:37:00.003+02:00

Controversial, much loved political cartoonist, Zapiro. A lot of African topics but occasionally mixes it up with global events. Very enjoyable if you keep up with your affairs. Can't understand how Zuma's henchmen haven't tracked him down yet...
http://www.mg.co.za/zapiro/all

Big feller

2010-03-08T00:15:00.004+02:00

These here cockroaches in this country can be intimidatingly big (this chap was over 10cm once I stretched his wee legs and horns), but seem a little more graceful, if that's the word than those I've seen in Europe and the Americas. For instance they don't instantly and guiltily scatter as soon as you turn on the light, but would rather hand around a while and stand their ground if necessary. They also seem solitary, which makes them appear less, well, grubby.

Café Chic

2009-11-22T22:00:00.000+02:00

Café Chic
Franschoek Agricultural Show 2009

2009-11-22T20:12:00.000+02:00

The true peace of God begins at any spot a thousand miles from the nearest land..

Joseph Conrad - Master wordsmith

2009-11-22T20:07:00.003+02:00

Next morning, at daylight, the Narcissus went to sea.

A slight haze blurred the horizon. Outside the harbour
the measureless expanse of smooth water lay sparkling like
a floor of jewels, and as empty as the sky. The short black
tug gave a pluck to windward, in the usual way, then let
go the rope, and hovered for a moment on the quarter with
her engines stopped; while the slim, long hull of the ship
moved ahead slowly under lower topsails. The loose upper
canvas blew out in the breeze with soft round contours, re-
sembling small white clouds snared in the maze of ropes.
Then the sheets were hauled home, the yards hoisted, and
the ship became a high and lonely pyramid, gliding, all shin-
ing and white, through the sunlit mist. The tug turned short
round and went away towards the land. Twenty-six pairs of
eyes watched her low broad stern crawling languidly over
the smooth swell between the two paddle-wheels that
turned fast, beating the water with fierce hurry. She resem-
bled an enormous and aquatic black beetle, surprised by the
light, overwhelmed by the sunshine, trying to escape with
ineffectual effort into the distant gloom of the land. She left
a lingering smudge of smoke on the sky, and two vanishing
trails of foam on the water. On the place where she had
stopped a round black patch of soot remained, undulating
on the swell— an unclean mark of the creature's rest.

The Narcissus left alone, heading south, seemed to stand
resplendent and still upon the restless sea, under the mov-
ing sun. Flakes of foam swept past her sides; the water struck
her with flashing blows; the land glided away, slowly fading;
a few birds screamed on motionless wings over the swaying
mastheads. But soon the land disappeared, the birds went
away; and to the west the pointed sail of an Arab dhow
running for Bombay, rose triangular and upright above the
sharp edge of the horizon, lingered and vanished like an
illusion. Then the ship's wake, long and straight, stretched
itself out through a day of immense solitude. The setting sun,
burning on the level of the water, flamed crimson below the
blackness of heavy rain clouds. The sunset squall, coming
up from behind, dissolved itself into the short deluge of a
hissing shower. It left the ship glistening from trucks to water-
line, and with darkened sails. She ran easily before a fair
monsoon, with her decks cleared for the night; and, moving
along with her, was heard the sustained and monotonous
swishing of the waves, mingled with the low whispers of men
mustered aft for the setting of watches; the short plaint of
some block aloft; or, now and then, a loud sigh of wind.

Steinbeck

2009-08-16T21:05:00.004+02:00

Yep, there I've said it - The Grapes Of Wrath is the best dern book I ever read.
Thank you John Steinbeck.

Just finished it and I've no idea what to do with my days now that I've put it down.
Goes hand in hand with Dorothea Lange's incredible photos of the Great Depression.

Keep an eye out for her work.

Lemon Creams

2009-08-15T22:56:00.002+02:00

Hmm. Until this week I never realised how much I missed (or indeed never appreciated) lemon creams. Especially Baker's Red Label lemon creams.

Nice.

Nice deal

2009-08-14T16:44:00.003+02:00

During the week I came across a lump of Kerrygold cheese which was either incorrectly priced or else a bit dodgy and horsed into the Bargain Bin. Nonetheless, it only cost R59.99/kg - pittance for cheese, as any cheese afficianado or cheapskate will tell you.
If anyone can beat that (approx €5.20/kg) I'd like to hear from you.